Why I Can't Change
Think about your worst struggle. I know, it's the thing we don't like to talk about. It's the stuff we spend hours avoiding and running from.
Every day I sit across from people listening to them talk about how their emotional pain is kicking their butts. They hate it. Some did it to themselves and others have been victimized by it. It's the ugly side of life that we hide at all costs even if it makes us sick.
Our culture has made pain avoidance an accepted obsession. Numbing out and refusing to feel is normal. We build elaborate nothing boxes where we escape the stress of life so that we can do nothing, literally nothing that makes us feel what we hate feeling, our pain. It's popular to spend endless hours binging on Netflix and consuming massive quantities of our favorite nosh.
There is one goal: STOP FEELING!
WHAT DO WE GAIN BY AVOIDING OUR PAIN?
How do we you feel when you get up from your weekend bender? What did you gain by shutting down your emotions and detaching from your problems?
I totally understand the need to recharge. But I don't feel recharged. I feel like my battery is dead after I zone out.
There is no payoff to avoiding pain. Avoidance makes us sicker.
CHANGE IS GROWTH & GROWTH IS HEALING
I'm not judging you for your suppressing your stuff. But I have learned the main reason why I CAN'T CHANGE is because I choose to avoid the pain.
Healthy change requires us to work through the pain. Emotional intelligence does not happen because you read a book about it while you eat a box of chocolates.
COURAGE IS THE CATALYST FOR CHANGE
Growth begins when we own our need for change. Facing our pain requires courage. Courage is more than being a hero. It takes exercising vulnerability about our fear of change in order to begin the healing process.
Asking for help and admitting that your struggling is where freedom begins but it's also the scary place. It's like leaning over the side of a cliff into a rock repelling rope strapped to your backside. You have no trust that this is going to workout for your good.
But the moment you say yes to letting go of the control fear of change no longer rules you!
THE ULTIMATE CHANGE
Can you imagine how Jesus felt the night before he went to the cross? How did he endure the pain? The entire human race is depending on him enduring the most brutal form of death; crucifixion.
He endured the pain because there was a joy that he knew awaited him.
THE JOY WAS FREEDOM! YOUR FREEDOM & MY FREEDOM!
Freedom is yours if you allow your pain to be healed!