Couples in crisis wait 7 years too late. That's right. Most married's resist getting support until it's too late. They prefer expecting the marriage to improve by fighting it out rather going for help.
WHY? Why do we wait 7 years to go get help?
We choose to grind it out because we are afraid. Afraid of:
others will know we are not perfect
making it worse
not being able to fix it
somebody finding out how bad it is
rejection: from our spouse, family and friends
Don't want to pay for it
The average divorce costs $25,000 in the state of GA. It could take years of battling in court to get the final settlement. There is a reason that God hates divorce. It's because divorce is the opposite of his nature. God is about lasting, perseving love not a quick hit that is motivated by a feeling. Everybody looses during a divorce; you, your spouse, your children, the church, the community. The fallout is painful that takes years to recover from.
SHAME is ruling our thinking if we believe that going for help is a bad idea. Shame says, "we don't deserve love and belonging." Shame rules when we believe the worst about each other.
VULNERABILITY IS THE ANSWER
Getting real in the presence of a trusted adviser is the ticket to liberation and connection in your marriage. MEN THIS IS FOR YOU: HUMBLE YOURSELF AND ASK FOR HELP. Women typically lead the charge when couples come to see me. Take the risk to be vulnerable. Let someone speak into your life. You don't have to have this all figured out for yourself. Receptivity and openness could be the beginning of healing your marriage.
You don't have to be in crisis to seek help. Every year I seek more understanding for my personal growth by attending a seminar, retreat or training. I love learning. The discovery process of finding new tools and deeper revelation has always been very rewarding. I don't judge myself for not knowing. I give myself permission to be curious and to grow.
Take action today. Pick up the phone and call for help. Don't wait for 7 years until it's too late.